Today and A Gift from God

Today:

Today has been horrible.  It began with bickering children and no time for devotions..... and found me, by 3:30, in a heap on my kitchen floor in tears.  Nothing tragic happened today, but it was just an accumulation of one thing on top of another that brought me to a breaking point.  As I already mentioned, it began with unhappy children.  I had a lot of errands to run, and as I began my day I decided to put some of my own words to my children that morning into practice.  As I drove, I thanked God for my children and praised Him for still being a good God even on a rough morning.  My mood began to lift.  However, by 11:00, I found myself lost in downtown Kalamazoo and, after asking directions to the same place THREE times, I finally find my destination.  At 2:00, I realized it was getting a little late and I would not get everything done on my list of errands......and shortly after, I realized I had lost my keys.  (This was the second time I could not find them today.)  Which was a problem, cause I was still in Portage and I needed to pick the children up at 2:50 from Centreville Elementary.  I called Rob and asked him to be praying for me and breathed a silent prayer for help myself.  I backtracked my steps through two separate stores, checked the van to see if  I had locked them inside,  and still could not find my keys.  I began to feel sick in my stomach and was fighting back tears.  I made a deal with myself not to break down in the middle of World Market!  Today was falling on me after a couple weeks of feeling extremely unorganized, overwhelmed, and clueless.  My ability to keep track of things and keep everything organized and under control had been lacking a lot lately.  I was beginning to feel like I was truly loosing my mind!  I made a few more phone calls to set up a plan for my children if I couldn't get back to the school on time.  As I was on the phone with one of the last people I could think of to call, my eyes fell on a my keys sitting beside a small stack of dinner trays.  Relief washed over me!  I thanked the store clerks for helping me out and noticed, on the bright side, the rain had stopped!  I got in my van, slowly talking myself through simple things like, "notice, you're setting you're keys on the front seat", and "make sure you close the back door before driving away."  I drove back to the school feeling like I should have listened to that voice in my head this morning that had encouraged me to stay in bed for the day, let the kids sleep in and play hooky!  Somehow, I managed to get back to the school in time to pick the children up and gave them a heads up on what kind of day I had.  Bickering broke out as we were parking the van at home.  Resolving the issue, I gathered my bags and walked into the house.  I began to set my purchases down on the counter.......when I felt a bag begin to slip......and then I heard a loud thunk......tears began to well back up in my eyes as I realized I just dropped the bag carrying glass jars I had purchased.  That was it for me.  I knelt down to see what the damage was and I stayed down for a bit and just cried.  I was thankful to see there was very little damage, but the tears kept coming.  I made it upstairs and flopped myself  down on my bed wishing I could just go to sleep and not wake up till tomorrow morning.

The Gift:

The gift, ironically enough, came in the form of my children.  As I was laying on my bed, Kara walked into the room with her VeggieTales Devotional book in her hand.  She quietly hopped up beside me on the bed and began to whisper the words to herself.  I asked her, "are you going to read to me?"  And she began to read about Queen Esther.  As she was reading, Colin came into the room and said, "mom, I have a verse memorized."  I said, "what verse?" 

He begins to recite, "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.  He gives me green pastures.  He leads me beside still waters.  He sets a table in the presence of my enemies.  My cup overflows.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow the rest of my days as I dwell in the house of the Lord forever."  Psalm 23  I started to cry again as I told him that was beautiful. 

He said, "I know another one."  I encouraged him to go ahead.  He said, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whoever believes on Him shall have eternal life."  John 3:16

As Kara got done reading, she came to a dialogue between Bob and Larry which reminded the reader that God never leaves us alone.

Through the dreariness of my day, God gave me a gift.  He spoke life back into my heart through the words of my children.  Only God does things like that!

I'm not going to lie.  I wish I could say the heaviness and frustrations of today had lifted and that I jumped out of bed with a new song of praise on my heart.  I did get out of bed, but the heaviness is still here.  However, I can see the light of Jesus through the grayness of the clouds and I give thanks to God for that!  It reminds me a bit of a song that God gave to me last week as I was struggling with the uncertainties of an illness that Rob's dad has.  These are the words to the song.


Sorrow clouds my vision
Pain grips my heart
I see the storm clouds coming
On this path I don't want to walk
My tears fall like rain
God I don't understand, how can this be a part of your sovereign plan
On my knees I cry out to you
Please take this cup from me
I know with only one word, you can mend what's broken in me

Sweet Jesus, surround me
Sweet Jesus, surround me
I know you are here
I see you through the midst of my tears.
You speak words of truth to me
I cling to your voice
Your my Shepherd, I will not fear
You'll restore my soul and comfort me

You see things I can't see
You know all about me
All my days you have ordained for me
My life rests in your hands
Though I walk through this dark valley, Your goodness covers me!

Sweet Jesus, surround me
Sweet Jesus, surround me
I know you are here
I see you through the midst of my tears
You speak words of truth to me
I cling to your voice
Your my Shepherd, I will not fear
You'll restore my soul and comfort me