Ouch.......

This morning, I had had it.  I found my son Colin playing his DS up in his room when he was supposed to be getting ready for school.  I said that's it.  The DS is mine and you can only have it back when ALL your chores are done.  When you get it back, it will be for a limited amount of time.  A little while later, a little whistler blower called out to me, "Mom, Colin said he is not going to follow any of your stupid rules."  I said, "That's fine.  Colin will be choosing to not get his DS back then either."

I went downstairs to take care of the issue.  There was a lot of finger and tongue wagging on my part and I will spare you from all the details, otherwise you will be reading forever; and quite frankly it really has nothing to to with what happened later on.......and what caused the "ouch".  So, to make a long story short, I told Colin that we are going to do what Tim and Lynette are doing.  We are going to have  a point system.  You have to earn your screen time.  Colin looked at me and asked, "Why?  Why do we have to have a point system?"  I looked at him and said, "Because, you don't take the initiative to do these things on your own.  If you were to do them on your own, I wouldn't have to put anything into place to help you do them."  And that is when it hit me.....an idea.  Colin and I headed out the door to the van where the girls were waiting for us.  On our way to school, I presented to them my idea.

They have one week.  One week to show me they will put forth the effort, not only to do their daily chores and do them well, mind you; but then to look around and come and ask if there is something I need help with.  If I see them taking the initiative to show integrity, to do their work well, and then to go above and beyond, look for the messes, and help Rob and I around the house, then I will not put a point system into place.  Because they will be achieving the goal on their own.  If I don't see them taking the initiative, then I will put a point system in place. 

Sounds great theoretically; we will see how it goes.  Here comes the "ouch" part.

On my way home, God pricked my heart.  Just like me, He desires His child to take initiative.  Initiative to do what is right without being forced.  Without the law being laid down.  The law is there, yes, and the law was enforced in my life.  But as I shared in an earlier blog, that law was lifted from me recently.  Not cause I shouldn't follow it or don't have to follow it, but because my Daddy wants me to take the initiative.  He wants me to give 110%.  He wants me to see the messes and join Him in cleaning them up.  He wants me to do it, because I know it is right, because I know it is His will for my life, AND BECAUSE I DESIRE TO.  Ugh!  I'm just like my son!  I have been yelling at my Daddy, "I don't have to follow your stupid rules!"

And God says,"Nope, you don't have to, but then this is what will happen......"  It isn't a threat.  Just a matter of fact truth of natural consequences.

The issue is my heart.  Just like my children, I want to do the minimum.  I want to get by with doing as little as possible and call it good enough.  When the rules and regulations are lifted from me, I run for the border as fast as I can and shout "FREEDOM"  only to find myself once again walking down a path that is leading me back to bondage.  And the struggle begins, between what my Spirit wants and the lusty cry of my flesh.  I have pondered and questioned, "God, why did you lift the rules from me?  I'm a rule follower.  Give me rules, give me regulations, give me laws and I will follow them to the letter.  Why?  Why did you take them away?  It was so much easier."  And the answer is this.  The law was there to teach me.  To bring me out of bondage.  And I experienced freedom from my chains.  So, God lifted the law.  He tested me.  He said, "You know the way to go.  You know what to do.  But I am leaving the choice up to you."  See, He doesn't want a robot named Melody serving Him out of duty and religion; which I am really good at doing.  No, He wants a Melody whose desire has become His desire to do His will.  I find I have failed the test miserably.

Today, God has left me in the same exact situation in which I left my children this morning as I dropped them off at school.  They have a choice.  Choose to take the initiative.  Grow in character and watch our family grow as we learn to work together and serve each other.... OR ....continue to do the minimal.  Have the law established over their life.  And learn to work out of duty and not out of desire.

I have a choice.  Choose to take the initiative.  Grow in character and watch my relationship with Christ blossom even more as I learn to work beside Him and serve Him.... OR .....continue to do the minimal.  Have the law established over my life.  And go back to serving out of duty and religion and not out of desire.

Joshua 24:15 keeps popping up into my mind as I type:

^"If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

I have been challenged.