Too Good To Keep To Myself

I mentioned in a previous post that I have been reading a book by David Platt.  It has encouraged me a lot and really challenged me as I have read it.  Today was no exception.  He was talking about how to know God's will for your life and suggests that the idea of us running after God's will or trying to find God's will is actually, maybe, missing the entire point of what it means to be a disciple of Christ.

That has been me.  Always questioning.  Always searching.  Always wondering.  Should I?  Shouldn't I?  Does God want me to pursue this or that?  What if I hear wrong?  Worse yet, what if I choose wrong?  As I type this, I can feel the heaviness of the burden those questions lead too.  Maybe that should have been a clue to me in the first place that God's will isn't intended to be found.  I don't have to go on a hide and seek mission to discover it.  God's will is not a to do list, something I like cause then when I check something off I feel accomplished, it is not rules....it is instead "a relationship that God wants us to experience every day." 

In other words, I have been striving after something that has been smack dab in front of my face all along.....the person of Jesus.  In Him is His will for me.  And as I walk with Him, listen to His voice, learn to know His heartbeat as well as I know my own, in there lies His will for me.

Why have I made it so hard for myself, thinking I had to discover His will, instead of simply focusing on Him.  I can imagine Him watching me and asking:

"What are you doing?"

"I'm searching."

"For what?"

"For your will for me."

"It's right here."

"Where?  I don't see it and I so badly want to know what it is so I don't fail you."

"Stop."

"Stop what?"

"Stop looking and look at me.  My will for you is right here in Me and I'm right here in front of you."

I don't have to keep looking.  It's been there all along.  It's been me that has been distracted.  Distracted by trying to seek out something that has already been given.  It was already offered.  He pursued me.  I answered.  In His pursuit of me, in my answer, in our communion and fellowship lies His will for me.  Oswald Chambers says it like this:

"To be so much in contact with God that you never need to ask Him to show you His will, is to be nearing the final stage of your discipline in the life of faith.  When you are rightly related to God, it is a life of freedom and liberty and delight, you are God's will, and all your common-sense decisions are His will for you unless He checks.  You decide things in perfect delightful friendship with God, knowing that if your decisions are wrong He will always check;  when He checks, stop at once."

A few words stick out to me.  YOU ARE GOD'S WILL.  That is just precious.  At least for me.  Because that takes all the pressure of performance off of me to please Him, to make sure I don't fail.  Hmmmm.....I am His will.  That statement feels like the warmth of the sun on a cool spring day.  That statement ushers in peace.  That statement lets me know.....all I need is Him.  All I need is to continue to know God, to relate to Him, to spend time with Him.  It is out of that relationship that the rest of the details of my life naturally get worked out.  But He is the key.  There is no fear left.  No fear in getting it wrong.  Misunderstanding.  Making a left turn when I should have gone right.  All I have to do is allow Him to lead me and if I make a mistake and start down the wrong path, to trust 100%, that He will not allow me to go far without "checking" me.  And all of this?  All of this is born out of my relationship with Him.  I can feel the weight lifting.  Jesus.  All I need is Jesus.

The other thing that pops out to me is this:  All YOUR COMMON-SENSE DESICIONS ARE HIS WILL FOR YOU.  This makes me chuckle.  All my common-sense decisions.  How many times have I made bone-headed decisions and then blamed the consequences on God?  Common-sense.  That makes me smile.  Cause where is that common-sense going to come from?  :)  My relationship with Him, of course.  Seriously, I know when I make stupid choices and just because I am having this moment of clarity right now, doesn't mean that in two minutes I might make a bone-headed decision.  In fact, I'm counting on it, cause I'm not perfect.  But, it's ok.  Cause those bone-headed choices are just a sign that maybe I need a bit more time with my Daddy and that maybe I CHOSE not to listen to a bit of common sense that I already know born out of my time spent with Him.  I will be the first to admit, sometimes I just choose not to listen because ...... well..... I don't know.....just because I don't want to listen.  Because I don't feel like it.  Because I think I know better.  But I like that Oswald Chamber added this part....it's actually pretty important, because it would be easy to sit back and say, "Well, I have a good relationship with Jesus so no matter what I do it will be His will for me."  Nope, that is treading on the edge of a 50 foot cliff.  There is a bit of common-sense involved.  I know what my Jesus desires for me, because I have spent time with Him.  If I make stupid choices to walk away from that.....well......I am pretty much asking for a bruising.  Not because Jesus will beat me up, but because I will fall and falling is a natural consequence of not using my head.  He doesn't like to watch me fall anymore than I like to watch my own children fall and get bruised.  But as a parent, we often watch our children struggle, not because we enjoy it, or because is what we want for them, but because they made some poor decisions.  My heavenly Father doesn't like to watch me stumble and fall either....but sometimes I make some pretty poor decisions because I choose to walk out of step with Him.

It reminds me of a verse in Galatians that say:  "Since we live in the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."

All my chatter in this blog, is summed up in this last statement by David Platt:

"The more we know God, and the more we walk in his will, the more we understand how foolish it is to think that he would ever want to hide it from us.  Instead, we realize that God's desire for us to know his will is exponentially greater than our desire to know it.  He desires for us to know his will so much that he reveals it to us in his Word."

It comes down to Jesus, me, and our relationship.  It's that simple.

My Response to God

I often find myself in a crazy cycle.  I pray.  I ask God for things.  He answers.  If I like the answer, I sing and shout His praises.  If I don't like the answer, I grump, whine, complain and doubt a bit whether He really loves me and why He doesn't seem to love me as much as my brother or sister in Christ who is getting what I want or has been receiving all of their hopes and dreams in a pretty pink hand basket.  It is a really rough, emotional ride.  A bit like a roller coaster.  Dizzy like a merry go round.

One of the things that I have been learning more is that my need for Jesus isn't and can't be based on what He can do for me...He isn't a genie in a bottle or Santa Clause.  It is, however, based on what he has already done on the cross for me.  I can bring my hopes, dreams, and requests to Him knowing He will answer them with love and with the bigger picture in mind....but His answer cannot be the thing I use to choose how I respond to Him.  He doesn't always answer the way I want to be answered.  He is a perfect parent and takes everything into consideration and answers me accordingly.  The question there is:  do I trust His judgment?  Do I trust Him?

If I allow His answers to be the scale on which I weigh my responses, especially when I don't like His answers, I turn into a tantrum throwing, manipulative, see-what-I-can-get-out-of-you child of God. 

The thing is, God doesn't owe me anything because He has already given me everything.  I desire that my response, my worship, my time, my praise is based on one thing only.....I praise Him, I desire Him, I love Him, I spend time with Him, I worship Him because of His sacrifice for me on the cross.  His gift has already been given.  His payment (something that was mine, but He lifted that debt for me by taking it on Himself) already paid when He chose to pay a debt I can't ever pay.  My response based on this fact alone is a firm foundation compared to a response based on whether He gives me what I want right now.

It's like a read in a book recently by David Platt.  God is not waiting up in heaven with a pen and paper writing my requests down as I bring them to Him.  He already knows what I need before I ever whisper it to Him.  What He desires and what I desire is simply time with Him.  Not because He can perform for me, but because I love Him who first loved me!  I want Him because of who He is, not because He is my genie in a Bible!

I will still take my requests to Him, because He said I could.  Because He can handle my requests, my desires, my longings, and my hopes and dreams.  He cares about what I care about because He is my Father and I am His child.  But I desire that my praise no longer be hinged on whether or not He answers me the way I want Him to.  It causes me to be unsteady, wishy washy, and distrustful.  I don't want that.  I want my feet firmly planted in the knowledge that what Jesus has already accomplished on the cross is all I need.  The rest of it......the cares of this world, the distractions, are really nothing and I do not want them to any longer dictate my relationship and my response to my heavenly Father who has already given everything there is for me.

Steadily Learning and Growing in His Grace,
Melody