I have recently started reading a book called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, which by the way, I would recommend for every woman to read. A good friend of mine suggested that I read it, and I have not regretted it yet. It has a quote in it that says, "But beneath it all, behind it all, is a simple truth: women dominate and control because they fear their vulnerability." and following it is the verse, Romans 14:23, "Whatever is not from faith is sin." Wow. Those are convicting words. And the truth. It got me started on a couple of days of "chewing the cud", so to speak.
God has spoken so much to me about rest and trust. It is a theme that does not leave me. Over and over and over again, He speaks to me about it. In the Bible, when God repeats something, it is because He really wants us to get it. I think that must be what is going on with me too. "Daughter, I want you to get this. I want you to understand. This is important." A couple of months ago, He gave me a phrase, Trust, Rest, Listen, Obey. This past week, He showed me how they all intertwine with each other. When we trust, we are able to rest. At rest, we are quiet and listening. And obedience, though difficult sometimes, is do-able, because we are trusting. What a beautiful cycle.
In order to rest in Jesus, we must trust Him. How can we truly rest, if we are constantly questioning and second guessing God's hand in our lives, the path He has placed us on, or the circumstances we are asked to walk through? Questioning is not resting. It is fighting, struggling, and grappling with the very hand that is desiring to hold us. It doesn't always feel like we are being held and protected, because of the discomfort that we may be in or the direction our lives are taking. When things don't make sense to us or are painful or are not going our way, our question always is, "If God really loves me then how could He allow this to happen to me?"
That question was answered so clearly for me the other day. I was standing in our kitchen with my son Colin. As I was talking to him, I noticed that he had been chewing his nails . . . again. I have talked to him about this before. This time, I felt I needed to be a bit more clear about teaching him to stop this bad habit. So, I told him that if the behaviour continues, he would loose his Wii privileges. As an afterthought I added, "Colin, we do not discipline you to be mean, but to help teach you. I would never do anything to you that would harm you." As soon as the words left my mouth, I could hear God rewind the tape and replay for me what I had just said to Colin. I can imagine a little smile played across His lips and a chuckle came out from the deepest part of His love for me. And He said, "I would never do anything to you that would harm you!"
I am an imperfect parent. If out of my imperfection and imperfect love for me son, I would teach him (knowing what is best for him whether he can see it or not), discipline him, and ask him to do something he does not want to do, then how much more would my perfect heavenly Father whose love for me exceeds anything I can ever imagine, not do for me what I need. How much more would He teach me, discipline me, and even ask me to walk through unpleasant circumstances, because He loves me with an everlasting love, knows exactly what I need before I ever ask Him, and sees the big picture and what is ultimately best for me!?!?!?
In Luke 11, Jesus is teaching His disciples about prayer. . . . "ask and it shall be given to you". Jesus talks to them about how a father will give to his child what the child needs and then He says in verse 13, "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?", Hebrews 12:4-11 (vs. 9-10) "Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits , and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness.", and James 1:12-17 (vs. 17), "Every good thing bestowed and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation, or shifting shadow." Jesus will always give us what is best for us. He loves us!
Mike Monson and Doug Schwartz have been sharing these ideas with us the last couple of weeks at Firm Foundation Ministries. Often the things that we go through, do not seem like they can possibly be coming from a loving heavenly Father, because they cause us pain, discomfort, or do not match up with our plans for our life. How could they possibly be from God? However, and here comes the cud that God gave me to chew on, if I believe, really believe, that God holds me in the palm of His hand, than how can I possibly believe that He is not in control of my life and my circumstances, no matter how unfortunate they feel to me. He is the PERFECT Father! He does not ask us to go through trials in order to harm us, but to bring us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11), not to bring us death, but to bring us life, not to weaken us but to strengthen us.
Our response is what makes it or breaks it. Are we going to trust our heavenly Father to care for us? In everything, through every circumstance, through every pain and every trial? It is so easy to trust in joyful and prosperous times. We say, "see what God has done! He loves me! Look at how He has blessed me!" Are we going to trust, or are we going to beat against Him, fighting Him and cursing Him?
God is so good! After He shared this with me, He decided that it would be a good idea for me to apply these truths to my life :) God brought to my mind a very painful experience that I have been through, that I still question Him about, that I still have a hard time seeing the good in, or even how it is beneficial to me. He said, "If you believe what you wrote this morning, then that means . . . . this experience you went through was not out of My control. It means it was for your own good. It means I have a perfect plan even in this pain. It means this experience was good and not bad, not a mistake." Regurgitate and chew the cud again. Wow!
Trusting God, leads to rest. Resting in the fact that my God will supply all of my needs (pay close attention to the next part) ACCORDING TO HIS RICHES AND GLORY (Philippians 4:10-19), that He cares for me (1 Peter 5:6-11), He holds me in the palm of His hand (John 10:27-29), and He will never do anything or allow anything in my life that will harm me . . . . ever.
On a side note, Colin has not been biting his nails! :)
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