Don't Give Up

I was challenged today with this idea:

Do not give up.  It is incredibly easy to stop doing something I have started and even have felt compelled to start.  New things and the beginnings of things are always filled with excitement and anticipation.  I feel like I can conquer the world :)  And yet, after awhile, the excitement wears off and the anticipation grows thin.  I no longer feel as compelled and even find myself asking, "Does it really matter?  Is there purpose and a good enough reason to keep doing all this?"  It is in this moment I have a choice to make.  Walk away or keep going.

In the Old Testament this same thing occurred.....at least the way I see it.  God gave the people an assignment, a promise...."Take the Promised Land.  It is yours!  I have given it to you."  There was a lot of fear involved with this, but there were a few good men who fought through the fear, pushed through and took the Promised Land and claimed what had been given to them.  Yeah Israelites!  Yeah God!  Right?  Look what He has done for us!  They had lots of excitement and anticipation!  And yet, by the time we get to 2 Chronicles the excitement is gone and there is no longer any anticipation.  So much so, that they were no longer worshiping and no longer seeking God.  What does it really matter right?  They became lazy......and they walked away.

But there was one man, who stood up in front of the Kingdom, and said, "Enough is enough!  It is time to put this place back to the way it was meant to be.  It is time to worship.  It is time to return to a God that we have forsaken.  Look for yourselves.  Look at our history.  It is apparent that our troubles have come because we walked away from God.  It is time to clean house."  And that is exactly what King Hezekiah did.  He not only spoke it, he organized it, and walked it out.  They cleaned out the whole temple.....And this is the spot where I felt God speak to my heart this morning.  And believe me, this is something I struggle with time and time again!

Cleaning out the temple was a physical and literal activity for them.  But for me, reading what they did, it has become a spiritual reminder to clean my own temple....my heart.  What have I allowed to fall by the way side?  What have I stopped doing because I have gotten lazy and wondered to myself what it really matters if I do it anyway?  What have I allowed in that has defiled God's Temple, which is my body?  What have I given up on?

King Hezekiah and his gang deep cleaned the temple in 16 days.  They though out rubbish and junk that had been filling the temple with anything and everything except praise and worship.  They cleaned house and when they got done, they filled the temple up with sacrifices, praise, and worship.

I need to remember:  Don't give up!  Even when the anticipation and excitement is gone.  Even when the activity of who God has called me to be becomes mundane and sometimes even feels like a chore, I must not give up!  I need to keep moving in the direction He is leading and guiding.  And when I do fall, stumble, forget, or even walk away I need to remember to come back and clean house.  I can't let all that junk build up and replace this temple of worship and praise with a needless pile of trash that weighs me down and keeps me from praising!

I love what King Hezekiah says to the Levites in 2 Chronicles 29:10-11:

I have decided to make a covenant with the God of Israel and turn history around so that God will no longer be angry with us.  Children, don't drag your feet in this!  God has chosen you to take your place before him to serve in conducting and leading worship-this is your life work;  make sure you do it and do it well.

Stop dragging your feet!  Don't give up!  This is what we have been created for:  to live a life of worship, holy, pleasing and acceptable to God.  To present yourself as a living sacrifice.  To commune with God and through that communion to allow His light and love to shine out on others.

Galations 6:9:

So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good.  At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up or quit.

Stamp of Approval

I have a thing in my life.  It is this unquenchable need for approval.  It is born out of a fear that I am not good enough and never will be good enough.  I have lived with this fear for a long time and I am finally fed up with having it around.  See, it affects everything.  It effects the way I think, the way I talk, the way I interact with others, and the way I do things.  It is this heavy cloud that I simply have accepted as being a part of who I am......and so I have settled.....allowed it to stay.  And quite frankly, I am over it.  I am just going to be really frank........so if you don't like frankness, stop reading this now.........  It is like a really bad case of hemorrhoids.  Irritating, sometimes painful, and ever so hard to get rid of, unless you put forth specific effort to rid yourself of their peskiness.  When you get fed up enough with them, you finally say, "fine.  I will do what it takes.  It isn't worth living like this." 

And that is where I am at.  And to be honest with you, I am not sure where to start, because I thought I had dealt with this issue already in my life.  But like a lot of issues, you have the head knowledge of it before it becomes heart knowledge.  I think that is what I dealt with before.  It become head knowledge for me, who I was in Christ, completely accepted and loved by Him, approved, good enough.  I know all of that in the area above my neck, but in the area below my neck, it has not quite sunk in yet.  It has not become truth to me.  It was truth for others, but not for me. 

I am ready for the heart knowledge now.  I am ready for it to penetrate deeper than just my cerebral cortex and to begin to penetrate my heart. 

This morning I was in a bit of a struggle again.  My feelings battling the truth that I know in my head and my heart not grabbing onto and fighting and standing firm and secure on the Word of Truth.  I stopped reading my Bible and knelt down in front of my Father and poured it all out to Him.  Everything I felt.  I asked Him to do things for me and then stopped myself, cause I'm not supposed to just ask for things, I am supposed to praise Him too.  Good grief.  Can't even pray right.  So, I told Him that too.  Told Him how I just want to be good enough.  And that is when I saw it coming.  He interrupted me and His hand came flying towards my forehead.  You know the V8 commercials where the person gets hit on the forehead and you hear the voice say, "You should've had your V8 today?"  That's what this reminded me of.  Except, I saw this picture of His hand coming towards me, He hit me in the forehead and said, "approved!"

APPROVED!  I can't say it has completely sunk in yet.  But I know what He is saying to me, "You have been approved!  Now knock it off and get on with life."  And that is my desire.  It is time to stop this, giving into the doubts of who I am in Him, second guessing EVERYTHING and wondering if I am good enough, approved, and acceptable.  I don't want it to affect my life anymore.  But just like those hemorrhoids I mentioned earlier, it is going to take some effort on my part to take every thought captive and put it under the authority of Christ Jesus and to allow the head knowledge to seep down into the depths of my heart until it becomes a deep seeded heart knowledge that CANNOT be shaken.

Flower Gardens

Do you know what I love about flower gardens?  I love that each year, when I get outside and start working in my garden, God starts talking. 

Lesson #1:  The best time to pull weeds is right after the rain.  The soil is soft and pliable and the roots of a weed, even the ones that go down deep, are easier to dig out.  Our heart is like that.  We don't always like the gloominess of rain or the harshness of a storm.  But after it is over, we find the rain that soaked down into the hard ground of our hearts has been softened.  And in that softened state, it is easier for us to start pulling out a little bit of bitterness, a little bit of pride, a little bit of jealousy, a little bit of.......you name it.  Let His love soak your heart.  Let it wash over you and make you new.  And in the times of the storm and the rain, remember; He has not forgotten in.  In fact, He is soaking you and giving you opportunity to pull out some weeds.


Lesson #2:  The beauty of the flower garden shines even brighter after the weeds and dead plants from last year are gone.  It is easy for us to hide behind our "weeds".  It is easy just to leave them there.  But, wow, how the true beauty of the flowers shine when they are no longer hidden by weeds and left over dead plants from last year.  You can actually see how pretty those flowers are!  You are beautiful!  Your heart is beautiful and dearly loved by the Father.  Don't allow your "weeds" and dead material from the past hide your true beauty.  Get out from behind all those things.  Clean them out and see how brightly your beauty will shine!

Abba, Father

I tend to be a bit of a fighter.  Stubborn and willful, I struggle until there simply is no fight in me left.  I'm exhausted and at my wits end.  I have a strong desire to do things my way, because I'm pretty sure I am strong enough. 

That is what I love about my Abba, Father, because He lets me.  He lets me fight, He lets me be stubborn and willful.  He lets me struggle till there is no fight left and I am out of options.  He lets me flex my muscles and He lets me try things my own way.  He never yells at me.  He never says, "If I have said it once I have said it a million times."  He never tells me, when I lay worn on the ground, "I told you so."  He never makes me mind.  He never makes me obey.  He quietly waits.  Never far away.  And He watches. 
             While I throw my fit. 
And when I am done and I look up to Him with a tear streaked face, He opens His arms.  Tenderly smiles.  Lifts me up.  Embraces me and says the words I so desperately want to hear:
                     "I love you, daughter.

 Come to me, and I will give you rest.  My burden is easy and my yoke is light."

    He offers me no condemnation

 only, 

 perfect, perfect love.

"But me he caught-reached all the way from sky to sea;  he pulled me out of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos, the void in which I was drowning.  They hit me when I was down, but God stuck by me.  He stood me up on a wide-open field;  I stood there saved-
                 Surprised to be loved!
                  2 Samuel 22:17-20 MSG