Monkey in A Jar

  You know that story, the one about how to catch a monkey?  You put beans or a banana in a jar.  Then you wait.  When the monkey comes, he sees the treat and the temptation is too great.  He sticks his hand in the jar and grabs a hold of his treasure, only to find, that now he can't remove his hand from the jar because his fist is too big to get through the jars opening.  Refusing to let go of what he holds grasped in his hand, he finds himself stuck and vulnerable because he is too focused on keeping his hand in a tight, balled fist, desperate to hang on to what he has found.

I am that monkey.  I find myself with my hand stuck in a jar because I am having a hard time letting go of my wants, desires, wishes, and dreams.  I don't want to let go, because if I do, I may never be able to have my dreams.  What if I never get to experience them?  Fear of loosing what I want, keeps me there, stuck, vulnerable, and attached to this silly jar.

I have been in this place before.  (you would think I might have learned my lesson the first time).  I once was so wrapped up in my self worth and how I felt about myself that I couldn't let go of doing things my way instead of God's way.  I was afraid if I gave God the control He would take with it what I desired the most; to feel loved, wanted, desirable, good enough.  Eventually, I let go, gave God the control, and experienced freedom I had never had before.  Not only did I have freedom, but I found God also gave me the desire of my heart and taught me and showed me how much He loved me, wanted me, desired me, and that I was good enough for Him. 

But lately, I have found myself with my hand stuck back in the jar over other issues and I feel God calling again for me to let go of my dreams, my hopes, my wants and slip my hand back out of that jar.  I know He will supply all of my needs, but what if my needs are not what I want?  What if His desire and plan for my life is not what I desire and doesn't match up with my plans?  What if it is isn't pretty?  What if it isn't nice?  What if He asks me to sacrifice?  These are my fears.  And yet, I know from previous experience, that when I let go, God begins to work.  He doesn't leave me hanging.  He fills the desires of my heart and brings me freedom.  He works good in my life and it is usually better than I could have imagined.

I have moments, even days, where I find myself loosening my grip and begin to slip my hand from that jar.  In those times, I feel peace, freedom, and joy.....and then just as quickly the fear of the unknown creeps back in and in my worry and anxiety; my hand shoves down to the bottom and I grab back onto my treasure.

Today, I want to let go.  For good.  No matter what the outcome is.  I want to leave my dreams in that jar, remove my hand, and grab the hand of my heavenly Father instead.  Hanging on to Him for dear life instead of my dreams.  Knowing that beside Him I will find safety and freedom.

Philippians 4:6-7 talks about the "monkey in the jar" syndrome.  It spells it out and even tells me exactly what I can expect to happen when I let go. 

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

I will paraphrase in my own words:

Don't worry and don't be afraid.  Instead of hanging on so tightly, relax your fist, give thanks and don't complain and whine.  Lay your requests at the feet of Jesus.  When you do this, you will experience a peace that you cannot understand and your heart and your mind will be guarded and protected from anymore worry, fear, and anxiety.

Take my life today, Lord, and let it be, all for you.  Let nothing, no worldly goods, wants or desires, get in the way of your perfect plan for my life.  I lay at your feet all my hearts desire knowing that you will provide for me as you always have.  I give thanks for your peace that will cover my heart and my mind today from unfounded fears and a heart full of anxiety.  I put my hope and my trust, my heart and my desires, my plans and my dreams in You.  Amen