The Heart of the Matter

Recently, I have come across a couple of different passages in the Bible that have caused me to stop and ask a few questions.  There have been two instances, that I have read about, in which God has become angry at a king for actions  he took.  Now normally, if the king or person has done something wrong, I don't question God's anger.  But in these situations, I have read the scripture and I think . . . . "now what was wrong with that?  If I had been in the same situation, I might have done the same thing." 

One of these instances was with King David in 1 Chronicles 21 and the other was with King Asa in 2 Chronicles 16.  Both of these men loved God and followed His commandments.  However, both of them made decisions that angered God.  King David took a census and King Asa made a treaty with another king to help him protect Judah from the King of Israel.  In both of these instances, I had to ask the question, what was so wrong about what they did?

I began to explore this more and talked to a couple of people about it.   The answer I recieved to this question was  both of these men had an issue of the heart which God was dealing with.  God was angry with them because they had both turned to something or someone else for support instead of Him.  The issue was not necessarily the action they chose to take, but who or what they were putting their hope and trust in.

I have asked myself, ALOT, as I have walked through the journey of eating disorders, why? 
*Why have I been given such specific directions on how I should eat? 
*Why have I been made like this? 
*Why don't other Christians have to eat like me?  Why is it ok for others, but not for me. 
*Why do I have to be different!? 
*Isn't the way that I am eating, if I stick to it strictly, being legalistic?

God has given me answers to these questions. 
*I have been given specific directions because I cried out to God for His help.  So, He gave me specific directions on gaining freedom. 
*Who am I to question how I have been made, because I know that I have been fearfully and wonderfully made. 
*Others don't have to be just like me because God is taking me on a journey, which by the way, He does for all of us.  Our journey's are not always the same.  He is a very personal and specific God and knows exactly what we each need to bring us closer and closer to Him.
*I cannot compare myself with others.  God made me to be me, not someone else.  (Profound, I know!) 
*No, it is not legalistic, it is called obedience. 

The heart of the matter in all of these questions; which if I am being extremely honest with myself I only ask because I am throwing a little . . . ok a big. . .  fit about what I have been instructed to do, is this.  God is teaching me about the same issue  He was dealing with in King David's life and King Asa's life.  He wants me to fully rely on Him, fully hope in Him, fully trust in Him to be my provider, sustainer, peace, and my everything.  He does not want me to ever turn to any other person or substance to fix my problems.  He wants me to turn to Him and Him alone.

God was looking for full reliance on Him from King David and from King Asa, and that is what He desires from me as well.   The thing is, no matter how much I turn to food or others to fill the holes in my life  left from painful situations, it cannot satisfy me like God can.  He is and always will be the only one that will fill my every need. He desires me seeking Him, desiring Him, and relying on Him for everything.

The heart of the matter is God is concerned about our heart posture . . . . our heart attitude behind our every action, thought, and word.  When we begin to put our hope and faith in something other then God, and begin to rely on something or someone other then God to fix our problems, then we are committing idolatry.  Wow.  That sounds harsh to me as I write it . . . but it is the truth.