Ouch.......

This morning, I had had it.  I found my son Colin playing his DS up in his room when he was supposed to be getting ready for school.  I said that's it.  The DS is mine and you can only have it back when ALL your chores are done.  When you get it back, it will be for a limited amount of time.  A little while later, a little whistler blower called out to me, "Mom, Colin said he is not going to follow any of your stupid rules."  I said, "That's fine.  Colin will be choosing to not get his DS back then either."

I went downstairs to take care of the issue.  There was a lot of finger and tongue wagging on my part and I will spare you from all the details, otherwise you will be reading forever; and quite frankly it really has nothing to to with what happened later on.......and what caused the "ouch".  So, to make a long story short, I told Colin that we are going to do what Tim and Lynette are doing.  We are going to have  a point system.  You have to earn your screen time.  Colin looked at me and asked, "Why?  Why do we have to have a point system?"  I looked at him and said, "Because, you don't take the initiative to do these things on your own.  If you were to do them on your own, I wouldn't have to put anything into place to help you do them."  And that is when it hit me.....an idea.  Colin and I headed out the door to the van where the girls were waiting for us.  On our way to school, I presented to them my idea.

They have one week.  One week to show me they will put forth the effort, not only to do their daily chores and do them well, mind you; but then to look around and come and ask if there is something I need help with.  If I see them taking the initiative to show integrity, to do their work well, and then to go above and beyond, look for the messes, and help Rob and I around the house, then I will not put a point system into place.  Because they will be achieving the goal on their own.  If I don't see them taking the initiative, then I will put a point system in place. 

Sounds great theoretically; we will see how it goes.  Here comes the "ouch" part.

On my way home, God pricked my heart.  Just like me, He desires His child to take initiative.  Initiative to do what is right without being forced.  Without the law being laid down.  The law is there, yes, and the law was enforced in my life.  But as I shared in an earlier blog, that law was lifted from me recently.  Not cause I shouldn't follow it or don't have to follow it, but because my Daddy wants me to take the initiative.  He wants me to give 110%.  He wants me to see the messes and join Him in cleaning them up.  He wants me to do it, because I know it is right, because I know it is His will for my life, AND BECAUSE I DESIRE TO.  Ugh!  I'm just like my son!  I have been yelling at my Daddy, "I don't have to follow your stupid rules!"

And God says,"Nope, you don't have to, but then this is what will happen......"  It isn't a threat.  Just a matter of fact truth of natural consequences.

The issue is my heart.  Just like my children, I want to do the minimum.  I want to get by with doing as little as possible and call it good enough.  When the rules and regulations are lifted from me, I run for the border as fast as I can and shout "FREEDOM"  only to find myself once again walking down a path that is leading me back to bondage.  And the struggle begins, between what my Spirit wants and the lusty cry of my flesh.  I have pondered and questioned, "God, why did you lift the rules from me?  I'm a rule follower.  Give me rules, give me regulations, give me laws and I will follow them to the letter.  Why?  Why did you take them away?  It was so much easier."  And the answer is this.  The law was there to teach me.  To bring me out of bondage.  And I experienced freedom from my chains.  So, God lifted the law.  He tested me.  He said, "You know the way to go.  You know what to do.  But I am leaving the choice up to you."  See, He doesn't want a robot named Melody serving Him out of duty and religion; which I am really good at doing.  No, He wants a Melody whose desire has become His desire to do His will.  I find I have failed the test miserably.

Today, God has left me in the same exact situation in which I left my children this morning as I dropped them off at school.  They have a choice.  Choose to take the initiative.  Grow in character and watch our family grow as we learn to work together and serve each other.... OR ....continue to do the minimal.  Have the law established over their life.  And learn to work out of duty and not out of desire.

I have a choice.  Choose to take the initiative.  Grow in character and watch my relationship with Christ blossom even more as I learn to work beside Him and serve Him.... OR .....continue to do the minimal.  Have the law established over my life.  And go back to serving out of duty and religion and not out of desire.

Joshua 24:15 keeps popping up into my mind as I type:

^"If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

I have been challenged.

Blessed Be Your Name

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=7Qp11X6LKYY



So many times I find myself at the beginning of my devotional time asking God for favors.  "Dear, Heavenly Father, will you please help me with my attitude?, God, please give me direction and the desires of my heart, God please........"

This morning, it happened again and I felt a check in my spirit.  God isn't my Santa or my spiritual vending machine.  None of these things are necessarily bad to go to Him about and I know it is ok to approach my Father with my requests.  However, in the middle of it, I see my focus is all on me.  The truth is, it isn't about what I want, what He gives, or what He doesn't give.  It is about who He is no matter what.  It is about Him.  And so, no matter how my life goes, what I receive, what I don't receive, or how my day plays out.......Blessed Be His Name!  He gives and He takes away.  He leads me through times of plenty and walks with me through the dessert where no water can be found.  And through it all I will choose to say, blessed be your name Jesus!  You are worthy of all honor and praise!  It is all about You and Your heart and Your desire, and that is all I need!  So Blessed be your Name!!

A Good Reminder From a Handfull of Clay

Most mornings, on our way to school, I spend some time praying with the children.  Somehow, out of our prayer time, came the topic of why bad things happen to good people.  I explained to my children that sometimes God allows us to walk through very dark and difficult stages of our lives because He is perfecting us.  I used the example of clay and a molded pot.  I asked the kids, why do we put a pot through the fire?  Their answer was straight forward and simple.  To make it hard and so that it can hold water.  In this moment with my kids, the truth of this issue resonated with me.  The fire makes it steadfast and sturdy.  It takes something impressionable and keeps it permenatnly in the shape the molder formed it to be.  The fire takes the pot which once only had potential and transforms it into a pot which can be used for it's intended purpose.  I thought this was so good!

Jesus has taken me, a handful of clay, and has formed me, molded me and shaped me into a vessel of potential.  He has made me for a specific purpose.  He has impressed Himself onto and into  me......

In this moment of molding and shaping, I am in wonder at what He is making me to become.  I stand amazed at the potential I see Him forming.  I know His hand prints and the impression of Him is all over me and I feel abundently loved.  I am excited to see what His plans are for me.  And then, He does the unthinkable.  At least it is unthinkable to me.  He places me in a hot, dry, burning place.  I cry out in pain not understanding why or how He, the one who loved me and formed me, could allow me to suffer.  And yet, I know He still loves me, cause He has always proved Himself faithful.  Eventually, I see a door open, a way out, and I know the loving hand of my Maker is drawing me towards Him.  I look at myself and realize......The shape He formed me in has become permanent.  His impressions on me are visible and nothing can remove them from me.  He tells me I am ready now.......

I am no longer simply full of potential.  Now, I am ready to be used.

What an awesome lesson and reminder for me today!  I don't know the whys of the difficulties of this life, some of which or so horrible I can't even begin to imagine or understand.  There are simply no answers sometimes.  But He knows and He is still in control.  And if we allow Him and we choose to trust Him, He will bring us through it refined, beautiful, and ready for His purposes.  It makes me want to shout, "BRING IT ON THEN!"  And yet, I cringe knowing the fire is a difficult thing to go through.

So God I pray for you to mold me.  Shape me into a vessel of potential.  Impress yourself into me and on me.......and then set me on fire.  And in the fire, I ask you to strengthen me so that I will not falter.  I desire to be taken from a vessel full of potential to a vessel that is ready to be used.  Thank you Jesus

Isaiah 64:8
"Yet, O Lord, you are our Father.  We are the clay, you are the potter;  we are all the work of your hand."