The cry of our hearts as children of an almighty God is to be drawn deeper into His heart. I often find myself praying for this: God, just draw me deeper into you. I want to know you in a more intimate way. God have your way with me. Teach me to trust you, so that my faith never waivers in any circumstance.
Sunday, we sang a song during worship service called Good Good Father by Housefires. The bridge declares these words:
Oh it's love so undeniable I, I can hardly speak Peace so unexplainable I, I can hardly think as you call me deeper still, as you call me, deeper still, as you call me deeper still into love, love, love
These lyrics remind me of another song called Oceans that we also sing. It also calls out to our heavenly Father to take us to deep, deep waters, to places unknown where our faith will be made stronger.
The lyrics are beautiful.
The cry is genuine.
The prayer is sincere.
It is the deepest cry of the human heart to be drawn into a more intimate relationship with the one who created us, loves us more than life itself, and desires to walk with us.
And then, God, in all His goodness, answers our prayer......
I want to make sure I am very clear on this next part. I do not want it to be misunderstood, because God is a good, good father. He doesn't curse us with bad things or bad situations.....but he does allow life to happen to us. He allows life to happen to us because He knows it is in these hard situations that He is actually calling us deeper into Himself. Because it is through hard situations that we have a choice to make....to hide ourselves in the cleft of the rock of Jesus Christ OR to run in the other direction, cursing Him as we go.
Let me just say, life around here, in the Wilson household, has been less than ideal over the past 8 weeks. It has been one thing after another. It has reminded me of running a new route in which you think you only have one hill to climb....only to find at the crest of that hill that there is no going down the hill (something I look very forward to), in fact, there is a new hill to climb. We have had major illness with Colin's appendicitis and discovered duodenal ulcers which brought on financial stress and uncertainty which was added to when I hit two deer with our van doing major damage to the vehicle, our sweeper broke and last week we found out about more uncertainties...part of which we are still smack dab in the middle of. I'm beginning to feel like a country song. I have been all over the place with my emotions.
There has been anger towards God. How can He allow all of these things to hit us all at once? Spreading it out over a year would have been more manageable. Not to mention, we have been obedient! We have done the things He has asked us to do... not perfectly....but we have worked towards obedience. And has He forgotten all we have given and already done for Him? There were several days that God got an earful from me.
There has been doubt. Do you really love me? You say you do, but how can this be love? How can you do this to me when my brothers and sisters seem to receive blessing after blessing? Why am I not as good as them? Why do you pick on me? Have you forgotten me?! Have you forgotten all of the promises you have laid on my heart!? All of the things you have spoken over me?!
There has been acceptance and excitement. Ok, it will be ok. God has never failed us. Why would He start now? He's got this. You are doing something new God, and I am excited to see what it is!
And then back to hopelessness.....Why would I start hoping now? Everything else I have hoped for you have taken from me.... and that is where He stopped me. And looking back on things, it was a good thing, because HONESTLY, even in the hardness of the past 8 weeks, I have had so many things to still give thanks for. But this is where He stopped me and He said:
"That is the problem. You have put your hope in things and not in me."
Ouch. That will shut you up. It stopped me mid tirade....because it was the truth.
The problem is I like to have answers. And God has brought me to a place where I have no answer. I have no solution. No answer to the why or the how or the when. He has brought me to a place and may I add; looking back at our past 8 weeks, He has gently brought me to this place. His hand was definitely on our lives still; things could have been far worse. Colin's appendix could have ruptured. We could have had doctors that were unwilling to do a scope on him and we would never have known about the ulcers. He could have tested positive for Multiple Endocrine Neoplasia, but he didn't. The deer could have gone through our window shields. The children and I could have been injured in that accident. I could have lost control of the van...but we didn't. I see His grace and mercy in all of this. Gently He has brought me to a place where I am now at the end of my solutions. And I see that I have a choice. I see that through this experience, He has answered my deepest heart cry. I see how He is drawing me deeper into His heart, into a place of leaning completely on Him, trusting Him, growing my faith...things I have yearned for.
I forget. Growth takes effort and work. I forget that the most beautiful gardens have had their fair share of well, you know, fecal material, covering them. I forget in the midst of trial is the answer to my prayer and God allows these times in our lives to happen because He is answering my prayer. There is a lot of encouragement in that. Out of this brokenness will come beauty. Out of the unknown will come answers...eventually. Out of the doubt and fear and anger will come a trust and a faith that can only be birthed out of adversity. Out of weakness will come a praise that can not be quieted down.
I have so far to go. Tomorrow, I might fluctuate in my feelings again. I might struggle some more. BUT I HAVE THIS HOPE.....out of the struggle comes a deeper, stronger, and more grounded faith. I yearn for that. Faith that can move mountains. Faith that doesn't waiver. Faith, that in the face of adversity, sings louder and doesn't move. Faith that stands still and waits.
I encourage you too. If you are struggling, if things are happening that you can not begin to understand, if you are going through a painful time in life....don't give up. God is doing a work inside of your life. He is answering the deepest cry of your heart. He is calling you deeper, and deeper, and deeper in love....into Himself. Do not loose heart. Lean heavier on Him. Trust Him more fully and as the storm rages around you, remember, He has your life hidden in the palm of His hand. He has not forsaken you and He has not forgotten you.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Thursday, April 2, 2015
The Word of the Day: Thankfulness
It's been a son with appendicitis and two duodenal ulcers-hospital bills-broken sweeper-hit a deer-van damaged and towed-slammed fingers in the door this morning- sort of month. But this morning as I was shouting at the heavens and pointing fingers at God and daring Him to allow just one more thing to go wrong because you know, what else is going to happen to bring me down, I had to stop and apologize. Because, no matter how much we want someone or something to blame so that we feel vindicated, it doesn't change the fact that, though God knows everything we will encounter before it happens, He is still a good God!!!! And He is still a GOOD FATHER!!! Why do I feel such a need to shake my fist at him when things in my life go hay-wire? After all, He never promised me that walking with Him would be a stroll through a meadow or a rose covered path. He specifically said to expect trial, hardships and tribulations. He simply said that through it He would never leave me, He would provide, He would guide. And when I really take a moment to shut my mouth and lower my raised fist, I can already see His provision....In fact, I am going to venture to say, the list of frustrations this month and trials will be shorter than the list of provisions in the light of thanksgiving. In order to benefit myself, I am going to write the list out. I need to see it.
Trials: appendicitis, hospital bills, insurance issues, a randomly broken sweeper head, hit a deer, van can't be driven, slammed my fingers in the door
Thanksgiving: Colin is alive, the insurance issues are being worked out, Colin's health is improving and because of the appendicitis we were able to address the ulcers that we knew nothing about, the sweeper can be fixed and I have a good excuse not to clean right now ;), we hit the deer head on and it did not go through a window, the air bag (though it was threatening too) did not deploy into my face and Katie's face, we are alive, we have a car to borrow, we have auto insurance, and I still have my fingers, and did I mention.....we are alive.
See, it's longer and in the light of what millions of others are going through, even my own trials which have felt discouraging and heavy to me, are small. So today, I am choosing to stop shaking my fist and daring God to "bring it on" (what a foolish thing to say, but I believe He understands), and instead give thanks.
A year ago, I started reading 10,000 Gifts and in it, she encourages thankfulness in the middle of the hardship...even the little things and most definitely in the big things. I started a list of thankfulness....I stopped writing things down a while ago....but for my own sake, I think I need to start again. Looks like I stopped writing them down last fall. I had made it to #20....so today I will begin again with #21:
#21 The health and well being of my family
#22 Giving parents
#23 We are alive
#24 An encouraging husband
#25 Quite moments in which I remember to give thanks
#26 A gracious heavenly Father who can handle my yelling and fist shaking
#27 A good, good Father, who quietly speaks truth into a frustrated heart
I need to keep adding to this list. Not because I need one more thing to remember to write down, but because I need to see it on paper. The blessings compared to the frustrations. I forget so easily because I focus to hard on the negative. One of my favorite sayings is, "there is beauty in brokenness".....it is focusing on the beauty that helps me to walk through the brokenness and I need to do it more often.
Last night, through the accident and the process, this song rang through my heart and my head over and over again. I woke up with it....it's what I MUST remember during these times. He is a good, good Father and I am loved by Him. NO circumstance in this life will ever change that fact.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djrY_eFDOwE
Trials: appendicitis, hospital bills, insurance issues, a randomly broken sweeper head, hit a deer, van can't be driven, slammed my fingers in the door
Thanksgiving: Colin is alive, the insurance issues are being worked out, Colin's health is improving and because of the appendicitis we were able to address the ulcers that we knew nothing about, the sweeper can be fixed and I have a good excuse not to clean right now ;), we hit the deer head on and it did not go through a window, the air bag (though it was threatening too) did not deploy into my face and Katie's face, we are alive, we have a car to borrow, we have auto insurance, and I still have my fingers, and did I mention.....we are alive.
See, it's longer and in the light of what millions of others are going through, even my own trials which have felt discouraging and heavy to me, are small. So today, I am choosing to stop shaking my fist and daring God to "bring it on" (what a foolish thing to say, but I believe He understands), and instead give thanks.
A year ago, I started reading 10,000 Gifts and in it, she encourages thankfulness in the middle of the hardship...even the little things and most definitely in the big things. I started a list of thankfulness....I stopped writing things down a while ago....but for my own sake, I think I need to start again. Looks like I stopped writing them down last fall. I had made it to #20....so today I will begin again with #21:
#21 The health and well being of my family
#22 Giving parents
#23 We are alive
#24 An encouraging husband
#25 Quite moments in which I remember to give thanks
#26 A gracious heavenly Father who can handle my yelling and fist shaking
#27 A good, good Father, who quietly speaks truth into a frustrated heart
I need to keep adding to this list. Not because I need one more thing to remember to write down, but because I need to see it on paper. The blessings compared to the frustrations. I forget so easily because I focus to hard on the negative. One of my favorite sayings is, "there is beauty in brokenness".....it is focusing on the beauty that helps me to walk through the brokenness and I need to do it more often.
Last night, through the accident and the process, this song rang through my heart and my head over and over again. I woke up with it....it's what I MUST remember during these times. He is a good, good Father and I am loved by Him. NO circumstance in this life will ever change that fact.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djrY_eFDOwE
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Too Good To Keep To Myself
I mentioned in a previous post that I have been reading a book by David Platt. It has encouraged me a lot and really challenged me as I have read it. Today was no exception. He was talking about how to know God's will for your life and suggests that the idea of us running after God's will or trying to find God's will is actually, maybe, missing the entire point of what it means to be a disciple of Christ.
That has been me. Always questioning. Always searching. Always wondering. Should I? Shouldn't I? Does God want me to pursue this or that? What if I hear wrong? Worse yet, what if I choose wrong? As I type this, I can feel the heaviness of the burden those questions lead too. Maybe that should have been a clue to me in the first place that God's will isn't intended to be found. I don't have to go on a hide and seek mission to discover it. God's will is not a to do list, something I like cause then when I check something off I feel accomplished, it is not rules....it is instead "a relationship that God wants us to experience every day."
In other words, I have been striving after something that has been smack dab in front of my face all along.....the person of Jesus. In Him is His will for me. And as I walk with Him, listen to His voice, learn to know His heartbeat as well as I know my own, in there lies His will for me.
Why have I made it so hard for myself, thinking I had to discover His will, instead of simply focusing on Him. I can imagine Him watching me and asking:
"What are you doing?"
"I'm searching."
"For what?"
"For your will for me."
"It's right here."
"Where? I don't see it and I so badly want to know what it is so I don't fail you."
"Stop."
"Stop what?"
"Stop looking and look at me. My will for you is right here in Me and I'm right here in front of you."
I don't have to keep looking. It's been there all along. It's been me that has been distracted. Distracted by trying to seek out something that has already been given. It was already offered. He pursued me. I answered. In His pursuit of me, in my answer, in our communion and fellowship lies His will for me. Oswald Chambers says it like this:
"To be so much in contact with God that you never need to ask Him to show you His will, is to be nearing the final stage of your discipline in the life of faith. When you are rightly related to God, it is a life of freedom and liberty and delight, you are God's will, and all your common-sense decisions are His will for you unless He checks. You decide things in perfect delightful friendship with God, knowing that if your decisions are wrong He will always check; when He checks, stop at once."
A few words stick out to me. YOU ARE GOD'S WILL. That is just precious. At least for me. Because that takes all the pressure of performance off of me to please Him, to make sure I don't fail. Hmmmm.....I am His will. That statement feels like the warmth of the sun on a cool spring day. That statement ushers in peace. That statement lets me know.....all I need is Him. All I need is to continue to know God, to relate to Him, to spend time with Him. It is out of that relationship that the rest of the details of my life naturally get worked out. But He is the key. There is no fear left. No fear in getting it wrong. Misunderstanding. Making a left turn when I should have gone right. All I have to do is allow Him to lead me and if I make a mistake and start down the wrong path, to trust 100%, that He will not allow me to go far without "checking" me. And all of this? All of this is born out of my relationship with Him. I can feel the weight lifting. Jesus. All I need is Jesus.
The other thing that pops out to me is this: All YOUR COMMON-SENSE DESICIONS ARE HIS WILL FOR YOU. This makes me chuckle. All my common-sense decisions. How many times have I made bone-headed decisions and then blamed the consequences on God? Common-sense. That makes me smile. Cause where is that common-sense going to come from? :) My relationship with Him, of course. Seriously, I know when I make stupid choices and just because I am having this moment of clarity right now, doesn't mean that in two minutes I might make a bone-headed decision. In fact, I'm counting on it, cause I'm not perfect. But, it's ok. Cause those bone-headed choices are just a sign that maybe I need a bit more time with my Daddy and that maybe I CHOSE not to listen to a bit of common sense that I already know born out of my time spent with Him. I will be the first to admit, sometimes I just choose not to listen because ...... well..... I don't know.....just because I don't want to listen. Because I don't feel like it. Because I think I know better. But I like that Oswald Chamber added this part....it's actually pretty important, because it would be easy to sit back and say, "Well, I have a good relationship with Jesus so no matter what I do it will be His will for me." Nope, that is treading on the edge of a 50 foot cliff. There is a bit of common-sense involved. I know what my Jesus desires for me, because I have spent time with Him. If I make stupid choices to walk away from that.....well......I am pretty much asking for a bruising. Not because Jesus will beat me up, but because I will fall and falling is a natural consequence of not using my head. He doesn't like to watch me fall anymore than I like to watch my own children fall and get bruised. But as a parent, we often watch our children struggle, not because we enjoy it, or because is what we want for them, but because they made some poor decisions. My heavenly Father doesn't like to watch me stumble and fall either....but sometimes I make some pretty poor decisions because I choose to walk out of step with Him.
It reminds me of a verse in Galatians that say: "Since we live in the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."
All my chatter in this blog, is summed up in this last statement by David Platt:
"The more we know God, and the more we walk in his will, the more we understand how foolish it is to think that he would ever want to hide it from us. Instead, we realize that God's desire for us to know his will is exponentially greater than our desire to know it. He desires for us to know his will so much that he reveals it to us in his Word."
It comes down to Jesus, me, and our relationship. It's that simple.
That has been me. Always questioning. Always searching. Always wondering. Should I? Shouldn't I? Does God want me to pursue this or that? What if I hear wrong? Worse yet, what if I choose wrong? As I type this, I can feel the heaviness of the burden those questions lead too. Maybe that should have been a clue to me in the first place that God's will isn't intended to be found. I don't have to go on a hide and seek mission to discover it. God's will is not a to do list, something I like cause then when I check something off I feel accomplished, it is not rules....it is instead "a relationship that God wants us to experience every day."
In other words, I have been striving after something that has been smack dab in front of my face all along.....the person of Jesus. In Him is His will for me. And as I walk with Him, listen to His voice, learn to know His heartbeat as well as I know my own, in there lies His will for me.
Why have I made it so hard for myself, thinking I had to discover His will, instead of simply focusing on Him. I can imagine Him watching me and asking:
"What are you doing?"
"I'm searching."
"For what?"
"For your will for me."
"It's right here."
"Where? I don't see it and I so badly want to know what it is so I don't fail you."
"Stop."
"Stop what?"
"Stop looking and look at me. My will for you is right here in Me and I'm right here in front of you."
I don't have to keep looking. It's been there all along. It's been me that has been distracted. Distracted by trying to seek out something that has already been given. It was already offered. He pursued me. I answered. In His pursuit of me, in my answer, in our communion and fellowship lies His will for me. Oswald Chambers says it like this:
"To be so much in contact with God that you never need to ask Him to show you His will, is to be nearing the final stage of your discipline in the life of faith. When you are rightly related to God, it is a life of freedom and liberty and delight, you are God's will, and all your common-sense decisions are His will for you unless He checks. You decide things in perfect delightful friendship with God, knowing that if your decisions are wrong He will always check; when He checks, stop at once."
A few words stick out to me. YOU ARE GOD'S WILL. That is just precious. At least for me. Because that takes all the pressure of performance off of me to please Him, to make sure I don't fail. Hmmmm.....I am His will. That statement feels like the warmth of the sun on a cool spring day. That statement ushers in peace. That statement lets me know.....all I need is Him. All I need is to continue to know God, to relate to Him, to spend time with Him. It is out of that relationship that the rest of the details of my life naturally get worked out. But He is the key. There is no fear left. No fear in getting it wrong. Misunderstanding. Making a left turn when I should have gone right. All I have to do is allow Him to lead me and if I make a mistake and start down the wrong path, to trust 100%, that He will not allow me to go far without "checking" me. And all of this? All of this is born out of my relationship with Him. I can feel the weight lifting. Jesus. All I need is Jesus.
The other thing that pops out to me is this: All YOUR COMMON-SENSE DESICIONS ARE HIS WILL FOR YOU. This makes me chuckle. All my common-sense decisions. How many times have I made bone-headed decisions and then blamed the consequences on God? Common-sense. That makes me smile. Cause where is that common-sense going to come from? :) My relationship with Him, of course. Seriously, I know when I make stupid choices and just because I am having this moment of clarity right now, doesn't mean that in two minutes I might make a bone-headed decision. In fact, I'm counting on it, cause I'm not perfect. But, it's ok. Cause those bone-headed choices are just a sign that maybe I need a bit more time with my Daddy and that maybe I CHOSE not to listen to a bit of common sense that I already know born out of my time spent with Him. I will be the first to admit, sometimes I just choose not to listen because ...... well..... I don't know.....just because I don't want to listen. Because I don't feel like it. Because I think I know better. But I like that Oswald Chamber added this part....it's actually pretty important, because it would be easy to sit back and say, "Well, I have a good relationship with Jesus so no matter what I do it will be His will for me." Nope, that is treading on the edge of a 50 foot cliff. There is a bit of common-sense involved. I know what my Jesus desires for me, because I have spent time with Him. If I make stupid choices to walk away from that.....well......I am pretty much asking for a bruising. Not because Jesus will beat me up, but because I will fall and falling is a natural consequence of not using my head. He doesn't like to watch me fall anymore than I like to watch my own children fall and get bruised. But as a parent, we often watch our children struggle, not because we enjoy it, or because is what we want for them, but because they made some poor decisions. My heavenly Father doesn't like to watch me stumble and fall either....but sometimes I make some pretty poor decisions because I choose to walk out of step with Him.
It reminds me of a verse in Galatians that say: "Since we live in the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."
All my chatter in this blog, is summed up in this last statement by David Platt:
"The more we know God, and the more we walk in his will, the more we understand how foolish it is to think that he would ever want to hide it from us. Instead, we realize that God's desire for us to know his will is exponentially greater than our desire to know it. He desires for us to know his will so much that he reveals it to us in his Word."
It comes down to Jesus, me, and our relationship. It's that simple.
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
My Response to God
I often find myself in a crazy cycle. I pray. I ask God for things. He answers. If I like the answer, I sing and shout His praises. If I don't like the answer, I grump, whine, complain and doubt a bit whether He really loves me and why He doesn't seem to love me as much as my brother or sister in Christ who is getting what I want or has been receiving all of their hopes and dreams in a pretty pink hand basket. It is a really rough, emotional ride. A bit like a roller coaster. Dizzy like a merry go round.
One of the things that I have been learning more is that my need for Jesus isn't and can't be based on what He can do for me...He isn't a genie in a bottle or Santa Clause. It is, however, based on what he has already done on the cross for me. I can bring my hopes, dreams, and requests to Him knowing He will answer them with love and with the bigger picture in mind....but His answer cannot be the thing I use to choose how I respond to Him. He doesn't always answer the way I want to be answered. He is a perfect parent and takes everything into consideration and answers me accordingly. The question there is: do I trust His judgment? Do I trust Him?
If I allow His answers to be the scale on which I weigh my responses, especially when I don't like His answers, I turn into a tantrum throwing, manipulative, see-what-I-can-get-out-of-you child of God.
The thing is, God doesn't owe me anything because He has already given me everything. I desire that my response, my worship, my time, my praise is based on one thing only.....I praise Him, I desire Him, I love Him, I spend time with Him, I worship Him because of His sacrifice for me on the cross. His gift has already been given. His payment (something that was mine, but He lifted that debt for me by taking it on Himself) already paid when He chose to pay a debt I can't ever pay. My response based on this fact alone is a firm foundation compared to a response based on whether He gives me what I want right now.
It's like a read in a book recently by David Platt. God is not waiting up in heaven with a pen and paper writing my requests down as I bring them to Him. He already knows what I need before I ever whisper it to Him. What He desires and what I desire is simply time with Him. Not because He can perform for me, but because I love Him who first loved me! I want Him because of who He is, not because He is my genie in a Bible!
I will still take my requests to Him, because He said I could. Because He can handle my requests, my desires, my longings, and my hopes and dreams. He cares about what I care about because He is my Father and I am His child. But I desire that my praise no longer be hinged on whether or not He answers me the way I want Him to. It causes me to be unsteady, wishy washy, and distrustful. I don't want that. I want my feet firmly planted in the knowledge that what Jesus has already accomplished on the cross is all I need. The rest of it......the cares of this world, the distractions, are really nothing and I do not want them to any longer dictate my relationship and my response to my heavenly Father who has already given everything there is for me.
Steadily Learning and Growing in His Grace,
Melody
One of the things that I have been learning more is that my need for Jesus isn't and can't be based on what He can do for me...He isn't a genie in a bottle or Santa Clause. It is, however, based on what he has already done on the cross for me. I can bring my hopes, dreams, and requests to Him knowing He will answer them with love and with the bigger picture in mind....but His answer cannot be the thing I use to choose how I respond to Him. He doesn't always answer the way I want to be answered. He is a perfect parent and takes everything into consideration and answers me accordingly. The question there is: do I trust His judgment? Do I trust Him?
If I allow His answers to be the scale on which I weigh my responses, especially when I don't like His answers, I turn into a tantrum throwing, manipulative, see-what-I-can-get-out-of-you child of God.
The thing is, God doesn't owe me anything because He has already given me everything. I desire that my response, my worship, my time, my praise is based on one thing only.....I praise Him, I desire Him, I love Him, I spend time with Him, I worship Him because of His sacrifice for me on the cross. His gift has already been given. His payment (something that was mine, but He lifted that debt for me by taking it on Himself) already paid when He chose to pay a debt I can't ever pay. My response based on this fact alone is a firm foundation compared to a response based on whether He gives me what I want right now.
It's like a read in a book recently by David Platt. God is not waiting up in heaven with a pen and paper writing my requests down as I bring them to Him. He already knows what I need before I ever whisper it to Him. What He desires and what I desire is simply time with Him. Not because He can perform for me, but because I love Him who first loved me! I want Him because of who He is, not because He is my genie in a Bible!
I will still take my requests to Him, because He said I could. Because He can handle my requests, my desires, my longings, and my hopes and dreams. He cares about what I care about because He is my Father and I am His child. But I desire that my praise no longer be hinged on whether or not He answers me the way I want Him to. It causes me to be unsteady, wishy washy, and distrustful. I don't want that. I want my feet firmly planted in the knowledge that what Jesus has already accomplished on the cross is all I need. The rest of it......the cares of this world, the distractions, are really nothing and I do not want them to any longer dictate my relationship and my response to my heavenly Father who has already given everything there is for me.
Steadily Learning and Growing in His Grace,
Melody
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
I Am Enough
I have spent most of my life feeling either like I am too much for people to deal with...to dramatic, to emotional, too perfect, too good, to excited, to complex, to active, to elaborate, dream to big, have to expensive of a taste
OR
feeling like I'm not enough....not strong enough, not big enough, not capable enough, not good enough, not acceptable enough, not perfect enough
Either way, I have felt displeasing to those around me.
And that is why I am so in love with my Jesus. Because I am finding, that in Him, I am lacking nothing. I am not too much to handle and I am not to little to be worth something. In Him, I am complete.
He can handle me. He can handle me beating Him on the chest, crying, screaming at Him that life is not fair, asking Him why, and demanding answers. He can handle my huge dreams and hopes, my drama, my complexity, my emotions, and my racing mind.
He can also handle me in my very smallness, my weakness, every time I stumble, and not just stumble, but fall over the SAME stone over and over and over again. He can handle my inabilities, my imperfections.
His response to me is always the same. Open arms and gentle love. Sometimes, He tells me what I need to hear even when He knows it will prick my soul, but He never belittles me. He never throws His hands up in defeat and says, "I don't know what to do with you anymore. You are just too much!" He strengthens me in my weakness, helps me up when I fall, dusts my pants off, kisses me on the forehead, and says, "try again. You haven't failed. Just try again."
He loves me perfectly and in Him I am complete.
And because I am complete in Him, I can learn to stand secure in who I am in Him.
I want to encourage you today....if you feel like you are too much or not enough or maybe both....there is one in whom you can find complete wholeness, in whom, no matter what, you are enough. Not because of anything you have done or not done, but simply because of what He has done for you and for me.
With arms opened wide and spread out
With a bruised brow and a broken body
He became the enough in all of our imperfections and inadequacies
That is why, in Him and only Him, you and I can be enough, can be complete, because through Him; He has made us complete and whole and enough.
You are enough. You are acceptable and you are adequate.
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
I Am Thankful Give Away
So, I just now noticed that since starting this blog, I have had 3,817 page views. That is kind of cool. :) I do not normally do give aways and things, because that is not the focus of this blog, nor do I desire to give things away in order to twist the arms of people just to get them to like my page so it looks like I have an awesome and popular blog LOL! However, today I thought, in light of the season and my last post, it might be fun to offer a give away, just for fun and to offer encouragement to others who you are friends with on Facebook by sharing your favorite blog post and something you are thankful for in your current season. I am not good at these things, nor do I even know how to do them properly, so we will see how this goes! :D
When my blog reaches 4,000 page views, I will do a random drawing for a pair of fabulous, hand knit, color of your choice, cable knit fingerless gloves for the winner to enjoy wearing during this winter season or next winter season depending on how fast I can get them knit lol! You know, a little bit of beauty to give thanks for in the midst of this season. How do you get your name into the drawing? Just take a moment to check out my blog (that helps add to the page views), Share the blog post on your page that has brought you the most encouragement, and comment under this current posting with your name or by sharing one thing you are thankful for in this winter season and/or in the life season you are currently in. :)
Give Away Details:
When my blog reaches 4,000 page views, I will do a random drawing for a pair of fabulous, hand knit, color of your choice, cable knit fingerless gloves for the winner to enjoy wearing during this winter season or next winter season depending on how fast I can get them knit lol! You know, a little bit of beauty to give thanks for in the midst of this season. How do you get your name into the drawing? Just take a moment to check out my blog (that helps add to the page views), Share the blog post on your page that has brought you the most encouragement, and comment under this current posting with your name or by sharing one thing you are thankful for in this winter season and/or in the life season you are currently in. :)
Random Thoughts on a Snowy Morning
As I was driving my children to school this morning, earlier than normal these days because of snowy and ice covered roads, I couldn't help but smile at the beauty I saw around me. Gentle snow fell as we made our way through white powdered covered roads. My favorite, cause it makes me imagine what it must have been like to live 200 years ago, traveling in an open sleigh to grandmothers house. :) I can't help myself....I know it is cold and blustery, inconvenient, hand and lip chapping, but still, I just can't get over the beauty of it all. And that is when the thought ran across my mind, "there is beauty in every season." And it dawned on me, how that statement, applies even to our personal and spiritual lives.
We all go through seasons. In my life, the season I am currently in is called "Taxi Driver Mom", at least that is the way I feel a lot of days. Running three children back and forth to school, to friends houses, to youth group, to school events, to church events....to all kinds of events. It is easy to get overwhelmed and look at how tired it makes me and how much I often want to run away to a deserted island to be left alone under a cabana with maybe a tall glass of ice tea, a good book, and my knitting...to not be needed for a moment or two or three. And if that is all I focus on, my need to get away, I miss the beauty that is a part of this "Taxi Driver Mom" season. I miss out on focusing on the joy of having healthy, involved, and inspired children, warm hugs, love notes left on the dinning room table, snuggles, private conversations with a 14 year old opening herself up to me, prayers in the van on the way to school, listening to Lecrea and Andy Mineo rap their way into my heart as I drive those dear children all over Timbuktu , and the list could go on and on......there is beauty in this season.
Just like outside. There is beauty in the cold of winter. In the snow that gently falls, drifting like whipped cream covering a banana cream pie and as it coats the branches of the pine trees like powdered sugar. There is beauty in each intricate snow flake, none of which are ever exactly alike. Just that, draws of breath of admiration and awe out of me.
....And it reminds me to apply this simple thought to my life
...."There is beauty in every season"
....What will I choose to focus on? The cold or the beauty of the snow? The days of endless running and being needed or the joy of watching little people spread their wings and learn to fly?
What will be my focus?
It is the choice of my focus that makes or breaks the outcome of my moment, my season, my day, my year, my life. I want to learn even better to focus on the beauty of every season, no matter what that might be. I know the danger of a statement like this.....cause usually God speaks to my heart in order to prepare me for what is next....hmmmm....like maybe a season coming that I am not so thrilled about or maybe a season of more waiting....that is part of my season right now too. That season has been going on for a while.
It reminds me a bit of another thought that came to me the other day, that it is thankfulness that awakens the soul and I think that goes well with these random thoughts today. I think in order to find the beauty I must find the thankful in the midst of the season and then I must GIVE thanks. And in the giving of thanks, I will have my eyes opened up to the beauty of any and every season.
How about you? What season are you in right now? Maybe you are in a difficult season right now. Maybe it feels a little cold, blustery, and hand and lip chapping at the moment. I want to encourage you along with myself, to change your focus. Find the thankful even in the cold and give thanks for it. Focus on the beauty of that thankful moment and I think I can almost guarantee you....that in the moment you and I decide to give thanks, our eyes will be opened up to the beauty of the season we are in.
Blessings!
We all go through seasons. In my life, the season I am currently in is called "Taxi Driver Mom", at least that is the way I feel a lot of days. Running three children back and forth to school, to friends houses, to youth group, to school events, to church events....to all kinds of events. It is easy to get overwhelmed and look at how tired it makes me and how much I often want to run away to a deserted island to be left alone under a cabana with maybe a tall glass of ice tea, a good book, and my knitting...to not be needed for a moment or two or three. And if that is all I focus on, my need to get away, I miss the beauty that is a part of this "Taxi Driver Mom" season. I miss out on focusing on the joy of having healthy, involved, and inspired children, warm hugs, love notes left on the dinning room table, snuggles, private conversations with a 14 year old opening herself up to me, prayers in the van on the way to school, listening to Lecrea and Andy Mineo rap their way into my heart as I drive those dear children all over Timbuktu , and the list could go on and on......there is beauty in this season.
Just like outside. There is beauty in the cold of winter. In the snow that gently falls, drifting like whipped cream covering a banana cream pie and as it coats the branches of the pine trees like powdered sugar. There is beauty in each intricate snow flake, none of which are ever exactly alike. Just that, draws of breath of admiration and awe out of me.
....And it reminds me to apply this simple thought to my life
...."There is beauty in every season"
....What will I choose to focus on? The cold or the beauty of the snow? The days of endless running and being needed or the joy of watching little people spread their wings and learn to fly?
What will be my focus?
It is the choice of my focus that makes or breaks the outcome of my moment, my season, my day, my year, my life. I want to learn even better to focus on the beauty of every season, no matter what that might be. I know the danger of a statement like this.....cause usually God speaks to my heart in order to prepare me for what is next....hmmmm....like maybe a season coming that I am not so thrilled about or maybe a season of more waiting....that is part of my season right now too. That season has been going on for a while.
It reminds me a bit of another thought that came to me the other day, that it is thankfulness that awakens the soul and I think that goes well with these random thoughts today. I think in order to find the beauty I must find the thankful in the midst of the season and then I must GIVE thanks. And in the giving of thanks, I will have my eyes opened up to the beauty of any and every season.
How about you? What season are you in right now? Maybe you are in a difficult season right now. Maybe it feels a little cold, blustery, and hand and lip chapping at the moment. I want to encourage you along with myself, to change your focus. Find the thankful even in the cold and give thanks for it. Focus on the beauty of that thankful moment and I think I can almost guarantee you....that in the moment you and I decide to give thanks, our eyes will be opened up to the beauty of the season we are in.
Blessings!
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