Free to Be Me!

Just when I began to feel that I could not possibly contain more of God's freedom in my life, He opens the floodgates and He pours out some more!  I have been bound by years by the expectation of man.  For so many years, I have listened to the voice that says to me, "you are not good enough. you need to be doing more and you  need to be just like her in order to be productive."  At a very early age, I found myself accepting others opinions of me as truth and I would do whatever it took to change myself so that I could fill the expectation that I felt had been given to me.  I wanted to be perfect.  I wanted to be accepted.  However, this new wave of freedom that has been given to me says:  "I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE just the way that I am!  Hallelujah!  Trying to live according to man's expectations and ideas for my life has only brought me failure and discouragement.  Cause, I simply cannot live up to the expectations of others.

The good news is that I can live up to the expectations of God!  What freedom to realize that I no longer need to put myself in a position of pleasing people.  I only need to put myself in a position of pleasing my Heavenly Father.  I no longer need to try to keep up with the latest fads and ideas which are constantly changing.  Talk about driving myself insane!

There is one, though, who NEVER changes! Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  (Hebrews 13:8)  His thoughts for me have never changed and His plan and His purpose for my life do not change.  He only requires that I love Him and that I obey Him.  (John 14:15)  That is all I have to do to be pleasing and acceptable to Jesus.

All of this reminds me of a dream that I had about a year ago.  That day was Sunday and Rob and I led worship.  I was extremely nervous and I messed up.  I didn't feel I was singing at my full capacity.   I did not feel that the spirit of God was falling and I felt that it was our fault.  We had somehow hindered the Spirit of God to move.  As we were singing, I was being bombarded by thoughts that were distracting me from worshiping.  "The spirit isn't falling, people aren't worshiping, you're fake, and people can see right through you."  By the time service was over, I felt like a complete failure and that I had let down the leadership of our church.  All I wanted to do was to go home, crawl under my blankets, and disappear.  So I did.  I fell asleep and dreamed.  In my dream, I saw a father and a son.  The father asked the son to do something for him.  I do not remember what the task was, but I do remember the response of the son.  The son said, "I can't do that perfectly."  The father spoke to the son saying, "I don't seek perfection.  I seek obedience."  I woke up and the weight of failure lifted off of me!

God does not require my perfection.  All He asks is that I obey Him.  It is through my obedience and through Him that the perfection comes.  Not by my own strength or will, but through His.  His requirement of me is light compared to the heavy burden of the requirements of man.  What relief, what joy, and what freedom is found in following only the voice of my master instead of the MANY voices of this world.  "Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest"  (Matthew 11:28-30)

I am free to be me!!