It is amazing to me how God works! Wednesday morning, I woke up frustrated. My mind was rehashing guidelines God has given to me in regards to food. I was vacillating between wanting freedom in this area to eat more and trying to figure out whether or not it was ok for me to not follow the guidelines given to me. Was I being legalistic eating the way God told me too? Maybe I was not living in true freedom if I stick strictly to the "rules" given to me. The questions and the thoughts went round and round in my head, until; realizing that I did not have time that morning to figure it all out, I grabbed them and stuffed them into my back pocket to think about later. Well, God brought "later" to me that evening at church when Pastor Don began preaching about freedom in Christ. Isn't that wonderful of God! He knows exactly what we need to hear at the perfect times! All the thoughts came rushing out of my back pocket and began running circles again through my head. God knew it was time for me to begin clearing this matter up.
God did not make me wait long until He spoke loud and clear! Thursday morning, as I had my devotions, Psalm 103 came to my mind. I looked it up. There lay the answer as clear as day!
"Bless the Lord, oh my soul, all my inmost being Bless His holy name. Bless the Lord oh my soul and FORGET NOT ALL HIS BENEFITS; who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; who SATISFIETH THEY MOUTH with GOOD THINGS; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's."
Forget not all His benefits! There it was. I had forgotten. I had forgotten the health, freedom, life, and joy that has flooded my life when I walk in obedience to Him. I had let religious thinking wriggle it's way back into my mind and I had allowed Satan's lies to penetrate my thoughts. (If this sounds familiar to you from other things I have posted, bear with me. I learn the hard way and sometimes it takes several lessons for me to finally get it and stop rehashing the matter!) I cannot forget His benefits! When I am dry and thirsty, weary, worn, and frustrated; I cannot forget the truth and what God has done and will continue to do in my life.
This morning as I was reading in Proverbs, it hit me how Satan likes to muddle our thinking. He likes to bring religious, legalistic thinking into our minds, cause he knows it will cause confusion. He likes to take truth and twist it. We have been talking a lot about freedom in Christ at our church lately. Satan took that truth, and twisted it for me. "You are not really free if you have to follow these guidelines. You are being legalistic. You will have more freedom, if you just do whatever you want." But instead of clarity and life, Satan's thoughts only brought confusion and death. It was like a light bulb went off for me this morning. (A light I have seen before, but I guess I let the bulb burn out.) I often feel that I am in a constant battle with my good self and my bad self. It is what Paul talks about in Romans and what Pastor Don was teaching about Wednesday evening. Clearly, I began to understand. I am not fighting at all against myself, but against Satan and his lies. Our fight is not against flesh and blood! (Ephesians 6:12) I asked myself the question this morning: Why would Satan twist my thoughts, cause confusion, desire me to struggle, and feel like I am at war with myself? Because, a house divided cannot stand. If I am fighting against myself, if I am in constant turmoil and confusion, then I will accomplish for Satan his desire for me: destruction. I will implode. I know that road. It leads to self-hatred and depression. It leads to anger. It is the road I once was on, but I refuse to walk that road again! It is not who I am anymore.
Thank you God for your changing power in my life! Thank you for forgiving all of my sins, for healing all my diseases, and for redeeming my life from destruction. Thank you for crowning me with lovingkindness and compassion, for filling my mouth with good things, and for restoring my life! You are an awesome, awesome God!
I am at peace again. God's ways are just and good. He is always faithful to complete in us what He has started. All those confusing thoughts have left me. They don't really matter. All that matters is the hope, joy, peace, and life that I have found in Christ!
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