Learning to Love

A couple of weeks ago, a very foreign thought went through my mind.  I was laying in bed, looking at my husband as he slept, and I thought, "If I know who I am in Christ and my validation comes from Christ, then I no longer need to expect anything from this man.  He simply becomes a wonderful gift from God for me to enjoy....a blessing.  Precious."  Now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt this thought did not originate from me.  I know this because I have been waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to guilty of expecting Rob to rescue me, to fix my broken days, make things all better for me, and I have looked to him to validate me as a women.  I know this thought was placed there by a loving heavenly Father who wants me to see my husband for who he really is in my life- a gift.  Jesus desires for me to turn to Him to rescue me, to fix my broken days, make things all better for me, and to look to Him to validate me as a women.  Looking at my husband through God's eyes, frees me to love Rob simply for who he is and to take great joy in the gift he is to me.  It takes all burden of expectation off of him and I know it will free him also.

This is a new concept for me and I know I have a ways to go in putting it into practice in my life.  Just Monday night, I told Rob I needed him to fix my day for me.   Really.  That is a lot of pressure to put on someone.  They simply cannot do it . . . fix your day.  There is only one person that I know of that can fix everything and that is Jesus.  I had kind of forgotten about this thought until this morning.  I took a few minutes, ok an hour, to sit down and read a few books that I am working through.  One of them is Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge.  One of the statements in their book, brought back the memory of that night in bed.  "No matter how much Adam pours into your aching soul, it's never enough.  He cannot fill you......Every woman has to reckon with this-this ache she tries to get her man to fill.  In order to learn how to love him, you must first stop insisting that he fill you.  We say all this as a sort of prologue because we cannot talk about loving a man well-whoever he might be in your life-until we see that we cannot look to him for things he cannot give."

Wow!  The memory of that night in bed and the thought that had swirled through my mind all came back to me.  I share this with you to encourage you to join me in this journey of learning to love your spouse, not for what he has to offer you or what he can do for you, or in hopes that he will save and rescue you-but to love him simply for who he is.  No expectations.  I encourage you to begin seeking God to validate who you are as a women and as His daughter.  Seek after Him to fix your days and to rescue you.  He desires to do so.  If you are reading this and you are a single women or young lady, I want to encourage you also.  Before you seek out a spouse, make Jesus the lover of your soul.  Allow Him to romance you and find your identity in Him alone.  Become secure in Christ first and then allow Him to lead you to the man, the gift, He has for you to share your life with.  When you know who you are in Christ first, then you are free to love as Christ loves.  No strings attached.  No expectations.  Just a desire to have a deep relationship with the one God has gifted you with.  Join me!  I am excited to see what will happen on this adventure of learning to love!