I have mentioned before in my blogs my struggle with depression. I cannot remember exactly how much I have shared previously and I do not want to repeat myself too many times. However, today I want to praise God and thank Him for the gift of His joy in my life! As I was thinking back over my life, I can remember the days of horrible depression. It had sucked all of my joy away. I often had no desire to live and this was evident in the hours I spent in bed. Sleep was a welcome place of comfort to me, because I did not have to deal with my feelings of self hatred and hopelessness. I am so thankful that God did not leave me in that state and it is because of His healing and saving power in my life that I can look back on those days and rejoice! It did not happen overnight for me, but overtime Jesus gave me the gift of His joy. I was able to receive His gift the more I began to seek Him and plug myself back into Him through prayer and the reading of His word.
I was thinking about that this morning as i was excercising- being plugged into Jesus and the difference it has made in my life. I had just dropped the kids off at school. I parked, set up my MP3 player to listen to Matt Redman, and hopped out of the van looking forward to a good work out. I turned the music up and started walking. Soon, I decided to jog as the music began to pick up and His joy began to wash over me as I listened to the lyrics of the song. I started jogging, the music began to swell, and just as I started to think I could run forever, I insert here that this is a fantasy of mine and I am nowhere close to being able to run forever,the music abruptly stopped. Annoyed, I took out my MP3 player only to find that the battery had died. It had lost its charge. Grrrrrr. And that is when it hit me. The gift of Gods joy is like my MP3 player. The joy of the Lord is always available to me. However, if I do not stay plugged in to Him, charged up on His power, then, though it is available, it no longer is accessible. Just like my MP3 player. I stilled had the music with me for the rest of my work out, but I couldn't access it because it was no longer charged.
And that is what I thank God for today! I thank Him for teaching me to stay plugged in to Him through spending time with Him. It is because of learning this lesson that I was able to access a beautiful gift He had made available to me- the gift of His joy! It has allowed Him to heal me from depression! It has turned my mourning into dancing and my sorrow into joy! What a difference it has made in my life!
Thank you Jesus for your joy!
You have turned my morning into dancing,
My sorrow into joy!
You are the joy of my salvation and the lover of my soul!
I will dance and I will sing praise to you my king!
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