Learning to Rest in the Unknown

I am a planner.  I work most efficiently with a plan in place, an agenda, and a destination or a goal to reach for.  Recently, the plans I had were changed.  So, I have responded like I always do to change, with a lot of questions.  I wonder why things are changing, what is next, and what is the purpose of the change.  A lot of times, I receive answers for my questions.  This time, though there has been no answer to my questioning.  Well, at least not the answer that I have been looking for.  The answer that I continue to receive is "rest and worship".  I have been left with a lot of unknowns and I am at a place where I know absolutely nothing.

The unknown has always been a very frightful place for me.  I do not fly well by the seat of my pants, though as I have gotten older I have learned to be more flexible.  It is still not my favorite way to fly though!  :)  This time, I have been left with no plan, no to do list, and no agenda.  These are all of the things that I have relied on.  I have struggled with a sense of helplessness, demanding answers from God so that I can feel safe and secure.  Instead, I have had more anxiety than safety.

This morning dawned fresh and new.  His mercies continue to be new every morning!  I have found a new sense of peace even in the unknown.  God showed me a new perspective, His perspective.  In the absence of a plan, I find myself completely open to whatever God is doing.  I am free to do whatever He brings to me, because I have no other plan.  My hands are no longer filled with a to do list that must be checked off or done first.  There is nothing in my way of saying yes to Him.  It is now His list and His agenda that becomes my priority.  In order to know what His plan is, I must keep my eyes steadfast on Him and stay extremely close to His side.  In the meantime, in the waiting, I am free.  Free to run, to play, to enjoy His presence, to laugh, to sing, to dance!

Jesus gave me a beautiful picture this morning as I was praying.  I saw a beach and the ocean.  There was a beautiful sunrise.  I saw  myself:  A little barefoot girl with golden curls dressed in a pure white frock.  I saw Jesus, also dressed in white, walking beside her as she played in the waves;  frolicking with absolute joy, trust and love for her daddy Jesus.  Every now and then, she stopped playing, grabbed His hand, looked up into His eyes and smiled. She had no care, no worry, just the moment, just Jesus. I had a sense of that feeling you get on the perfect vacation.  There was no schedule.  The day could be filled with whatever and anything. 

What a beautiful picture!  All of Him, all of His strength, His power, His might, and His plan!  Thank you Jesus for continuing to speak to me, even when the answers are not the ones I am looking for.  Thank you for continuing to teach me about resting in You and trusting You.  I love you!